It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever ebook, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is offered for pre-order! Right here!
An precise ebook that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, if you happen to desire my dulcet tones, hearken to together with your ears. You’ve beloved my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn by my farcical tales of woe (keep in mind after I virtually by accident penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my legislation diploma to turn into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.
You possibly can name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my ebook within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.
And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about by accident happening a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir sometimes have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Carrying Knickers? No it will not.
So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set up to now, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this ebook. Let’s not get the improper finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it bought to the insufferable bits: it is a rip-roaring riot of a experience by a decade of the unbelievable situations and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and ceaselessly ridiculous.
Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel
OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. The truth is I used to be particularly advised, after I bought the ebook deal, that I needed to embody the bits that will create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or virtually falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to all the elements that may doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.
However largely it is a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I didn’t turn into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular means to draw chaos and catastrophe in virtually any state of affairs.
You may pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I feel it’s a reasonably secure guess that you just’ll like it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so if you happen to solely ever click on on one hyperlink I publish then please make it this one. I’ll be eternally in your debt.
Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel right here
I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the ebook and concerning the strategy of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the perfect, most satisfying factor I’ve ever finished in my grownup life. If you happen to’ve adopted me for some time then you definitely’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really pleased accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a ebook deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.
*optimistically
**as correct as doable. Principally correct. Considerably correct.
***I used to be pressured to supply this quote myself, as a result of it’s too early to get one off one other author but. I attempted to maintain it refined and fashionable.
****truthfully, the variety of folks I needed to sleep with.
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